My heart is replete with vim and vigor, faintness and flutters! This morning Minnie, the foyer’s maid, came back from the post-box waving a letter from my dearest Horace, so long absent from my sight but not my heart:
O, I am as ecstatic as Helen must have been upon being kidnapped by the swarthy Paris! Dear Horace, how my heart aches for your solid embrace!
I know Papá does not approve of our forbidden love, as he is the son of a mere haberdasher; but he has such ambitions, and such a generous heart! I can only envision how dashing he will appear on our wedding night!
I apologize for that bit of erotica, but forsooth, I cannot control my womanly, savage emotions when I hear Horace's name. Dr. Higgenthal says 'tis not beneficial for my manifold symptoms. I shall try to be more composed come tomorrow.
23.11.10
A most delightful arrival in the post-box!
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To the esteemed Horace and/or Mr. van Seethinbottom,
I fear I have committed a great mannerial malfeasance. I spied the young Miss van Seethinbottom from across this electronic tearoom and, emboldened by the spirits, I saw fit to attempt to conversate. Surely you must take me for a rogue and a charlatan, but I assure you that I meant no affront to the van Seethinbottom household. Any further advances toward the young lady shall come only with your expressed permission.
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